Monday, January 5, 2009

Breakable girl

Now she looks at the picture.
The picture that she had taken a while back. It potraits herself happy, gallant and well acquainted with her place in the world. Looking at the picture, the girl ponders, and recalls events and memories that had happened. Her mind is full of vivid actions, loud talks and a life full of color, just like the picture she had taken. But all these led to one thing; the time, the place, and the moment when she heard her first real 'i love you'. At least, that was what she believed back then. The world seemed simple, fun and full; because she was. In just a flash, she was aware that she could count her happiest moments with only five fingers, only one hand. Or maybe even with just one finger. She could feel her memories passing before her eyes and herself uncapable of doing something to stop them; and even though she wanted to go back, she wanted to get into that colorful sparkle and stay there, she couldn't. It was like her mistakes dragged her to the harsh reality; back to the reality that she miserably and unintentionally created for herself. She got scared, she really didn't want to repeat her mother's sinister past. She did not want to end up with a life ruined and a heavy heart; a heavy heart broken perfectly, in a way that couldn't be mended back. With the help of her childish imagination, she got away of that hidious nightmare, and remembered that mesmerasing smile. A smile that she had never sensed because she had never offered it to anyone before. It was the first time. It was the only time. Because now, the inevitable had happend. The heart was icy cold and the shine in her eyes long gone. She had made those mistakes; those mistakes that she couldn't bare thinking about in the past. The world wasn't fun anymore, wasn't simple. She knew that the end wasn't near, it was here. And what she was left, was that picture that she had taken a while back. And she knows deep inside her that the chance of wining back the moment that the picture represented was not the case anymore. Hope died that day for her; and optimism died, and her will also.
Now, she just looks at the picture.

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