51th post!

Over 50 posts! Hooray!
That is a big deal. I am excited for keeping a blog without deleting it from the third post. Perhaps, this little cyber space made me realise some stuff through my own writing and recollection.
It is Christmas. In a few days , the thought of the new year will be making us get all of our hopes up and make new years resolutions about love, our careers and relationships. I think I know what I am going to wish for this year. I hope you do too. I wish you a jolly merry christmas with all my heart. Enjoy while it lasts!

Wishes

Two days ago was my name-day. It is a tradition here in Greece, to celebrate the dedicated day to the saint you were named after. Mine is anastasia. The thing though that made my day interesting was a wish that my best friend wrote for me: " do not worry, love will come to you.."

But I couldn't help but wonder; if love had already knocked my door once, is now my turn to go after it? If love came to all people, then why so many of them are miserable? Is it because of bad choices, bad judgement or fear?
As I've said, my writing is my thoughts, and my thoughts are my feelings, thus wouldn't that make my posts about love my answers to my questions?
Probably it would.
Probably it is.
I have been beating around the bush for so long about some serious matters that have been affecting my life for these past 3 months. And the answer was here all along. I just needed a person to remind me that when you think about someone all the time; when you create possible senarios about what could happen if this or that occured, then you should fight to make things right, or at least try. Because if someone is worth your thought, they definately worth your love and time. Love would be easier this way, wouldn't it ?
Probably it would.
Probably, it is..

Nicky's Birthday

I am almost wasted. but I really had to post this one.

I had a blast. Yesterday, were my best friend's birthday, and we went out to celebrate :)
We opened a champagne, i actually drunk the half of it, but it was all worth it. Nicky, i really love you. xoxo

me & catherine

me, catherine & nicky

Must be fate

Have you ever wondered what other people from different places around the world are doing ? If someone runs or drives right now ? Whether someone cheats or someone cries? Or whether someone is doing the exact same thing as you do ? I know I have.

The difference that we share as individuals is what makes the world go around; is what makes everyday life interesting. But with all these different places, timings and feelings of those actions, how we fall in love ?
They say that you fall for someone if the time, the place and your mood are ideal and right. So, how come this happens? Even a rarity, it does happen. But the thing is that even if you overcome those obstacles, how can you be sure that from all these million of people you have met the one for you? I guess, then along comes faith, and.. fate. Paulo Coehlo once wrote that when you die your soul is divided in two and in some point in your next life, you get the chance to meet the other half of your soul. Can we be that lucky among so many people ? And if there is a slight possibility that we are, how can we know that they are the other half ? They say we feel it deep in our hearts, but can it be that easy? If it was, the whole world could have been saved from so much love drama. Then how we know ? I supose it is when you lose that significant other. When you are alone again; when you are in the place where you were; all by yourself. Then is when you can evaluate and understand if you had something special, something precious, or something common. Trust me, I should know by now..

Elsewhere

I love the time and in between

The calm inside me

In this space where I can breathe

I believe there is a distance I have wandered

To touch upon the years

Reaching out and reaching in

Holding out holding in

I believe

This is heaven to no one else but me

And I'll defend it long as I can be left here to linger in silence

If I chose to would you try to understand

Oh the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free

The mold that clings like desperation

Oh mother don't you see I've got

To live my life the way I feel is right for me,

Say it's not right for you

But it's right for me

I believe

This is heaven to no one else but me

And I'll defend it long as I can be left here to linger in silence

If I chose to would you try to understand

Green monsters

What is going on?
This period of time is all about red ribbons, snow, and green trees.. with envy?

Literally, people are getting crazy. Why can't you trust anyone around you anymore? I cannot help but wonder why most people are so self centered and they become revengeful when they see something good happening to someone else? Or even when something good happens to them. In this jolly and loving spirit, the feelings are everything else except from kidness and thoughtfulness these days. It is just a gigantic contradiction.

I have always believed that people are born as a whole and continue to be without any changes. We don't need best friends to rely on and comfort ourselves about everything or acquire a lover to makes feel complete. Even though it is said that people are social beings, they have never specified how social they can be. We are all believing that people in the name of friendship and their best friends, will sacrifice almost everything, but we couldn't be more wrong. Today's youth has learned to think about itself only; to think about ways that will make them successfull even if they have to hurt the others. As the years are going by, the goals of life are changing; once, people were wishing for world peace, health and good realiable friends. Now, they are only wishing for wealth, a good future, a killer job, and to be shown the way of how to stand out; of how to show that they deserve more than they are getting. We all know how this is called:

GREED

People will try to tear you down, trying to use you in a any way if they think you are someone who still wishes for what people used to wish back then.

Thus, I strongly believe that everyone in his/ her resolutions, should list to become a better person. That's the first step for a better world. You can change the surroudings every single day, you can take the trash out of the can, but you can never take out of some people the greed and the rancor, unless they want to.

So want it.

Breaking up

we are not breaking up with people,
but with the idea that our brain had created for them before we got to know them better.
why when we meet someone, we lose all of our realism and become idealists ?
why we all seek for so many things combined in just one person ?
why we want the 'perfect', even though we known that it simply cannot exist ?

Karla's Closet

A 19-year-old girl with tons of inspiration is the owner of one of the biggest upcoming hot blogspots in the internet and she is just sharing her passion.

Her name is Karla and through her blog she shows us pictures, videos, and so much more that concern fashion and clothes. She lives in California, United States and she almost daily, posts pictures wearing amazing outfits with a big great smile. Harla was on Dance Revolution with a group called Slumber Party Girls while back, when she was sixteen years old, but now she aspires to own her clothing business. She has been using Blogger since April 2008 and after just a few months with her originality and talent, has already earned a place in mosts blogspot users' hearts. Karla is more down-to-earth than anyone would excpect after seeing her blog. She always responds to any question given, and never hesitates to just share with others her own point of view and her own aesthetics.

For more on Karla and her blog, visit: http://karlascloset.blogspot.com/

credit (pictures) : karla's closet blogspot

Dead end

The past was ruined for a reason.
Sometimes because of an obvious one, some others for an unknown one.
But the thing that is given, is that you should never dig back to it.
It always leads to a dead end.

Why care? Live your life!

Frustration. That is what I get when I try to be truthful. It is absurb!
Defensive people, crushed egos and an awkward situation are the left-overs when a friend tries to point out some bad things. And the story keeps unwinding like any other of this kind.
Two senarios. Either they make up at the end or they continue this stupid argument. But it is more than an argument.

It is a careless way of action, a way of impulsive thought and behaviour. Why people are so easily influenced by jugdemental conversations? Why they think that when a friend tells them that they make some bad moves, they get all angry like they were being judged ?
Well, there isn't a person to blame about this, but all. We have made this to ourselves. We have established an interrelated bond between judgement and foes. Even though we expect our friends to be real and truthful, we cannot handle it. It is one of the most controversial issues that human relationships face these days.

So what the 'victims' of this attack say to their friends? Live your own life. Don't care!
Really? Is this how it is going to be from now on?Irritating dialogs?
For me, no. I didn't sign up for this. I don't want to be misunderstood when I try to say the truth about some facts. If someone is unhappy or feels uncomfortable, they should say it to the person's face. Why being so polite and not telling that it feels uncomfortable, but later on humilate that person ,whom to be clear, tried to tell you the truth ?

This is one question I can definately answer by myself. People are whole by themselves. They don't need anyone to tell them what to do or say or feel or whatever. They do as they please. They keep telling that they don't care about what other people think, but they actually do. Everyone does. But they choose to ingore it. And when their friend comes along and points out the bad moves, they feel attacked! The question that I cannot answer is, why? Are we as people so messed-up or there aren't any real realationships?

Hamburger

I had to post this.

I had such a great time yesterday.

Some booze, good friends and a few jokes are what it takes to knock my socks off. ;)

Only yours

It is devastating to re-live a same situtation as before, same dialogs, same feelings, with a person you had in high esteem. There it was. In a hovered moment, where you revived that experience with an individual that you never dreamt you would. It is heart breaking. Destructive and of course surprising.

As it appears, you have always been and will be, whole..just by yourself alone. You don't need anyone's help or anyone's support to keep going on. Once you put your feet on the ground, the world and your life, are yours. Yours to epxerience. Only yours. All people come and go. Even family. We don't live in the old times when family was the most sacred thing on earth. Everything has changed. From now on, it is you. Your power is your imagination, and your will to differ from everything you've lived and seen. Don't follow anyone's rules or anyone's path. A person is whole just by themselves. You aquire no one to fulfil you, no one to help decide, no one to tell you what to do. Do your own piece and do not let anyone affect you with their own beliefs.

Awake

" At 6:32 this morning, on Thursday the first of November, Clayton Beresford Junior died on my operating table, two and a half hours later, his life was saved. There are no excuses for what we did, there’s no defense, no one to blame but us, we got what we deserved. Clay would have his revenge, and justice would finally be served, but despite all the secrets, despite all the lies, and a terrible loss, one thing really matters now, he....is....awake. "

The twenty-two year old Clay Beresford is a genius of finance secretly in love of his mother's secretary Sam Lockwood. Clay has a complex, expecting recognition from his mother Lilith Beresford that he is as capable as his father was, but he needs heart transplant. When Clay finds a donor compatible with his rare blood, he requests his friend Dr. Jack Harper operate him under the protest of his mother that wants the famous Dr. Jonathan Neyer responsible for the procedure. On the eve of his heart surgery, Clay marries Sam and during the surgery, he experiences an "anesthetic awareness" that leaves him conscious but paralyzed. Clay witnesses the dialogs in the room and discovers dark secrets about his surgery and his new wife.

For an unknown reason, I was deeply motivated to put this in my blog. This film was released in 2007 but not many people know it as it appears. I definately recommend it. Hayden Christensen, Jessica Alba and Lena Olin put on a great performance and this movie is definately a keeper for me!

Something personal

After breaking every single set of headphones I had at my disposal these past few days, I had no chance for listening to music while I was out and about. So, I couldn't help but reflecting all the time. " It's been a year.. and more ". That's what I've been telling myself as I was walking up the road watching the cars going by. I felt like my memories were moving my legs, instead of me. And so it was. I had done a 12-minute walk within 6 minutes.

As it appears, these memories are intense and so many times I have replayed them over and over in my head, they have etched their way into my soul. As a great songs says, and I'll quote: " if every hole makes a scar, and every scar marks its' place, then I will never live freely without your trace ". That's how I feel about these past few moments that I firmly believe they have determined a lot of my present choices.
But why these ones in particular? Why I had to be 'scared' by these certain memories ? You'll tell me now, if it wan't this it would be something else.. but it is just absurb. I want to have something pleasant to remember, not just a fuzz. I want to know that at some point in my life, I was optimistic and sure about my decisions and choices. I need to know that I had something real and true, so that I can compare everything else to it.

Even though I hate myself for admiting it, the memories that "scared" me were the right ones I guess. But I don't know if they are good or bad, I cannot say that, but the thing that I can say is that these memories definately made my choices easier and definately beneficial.

But I get a weird sense. I keep making musings about the past. Am I subconsciencely carving for a taste of it?

Nefarious circle.

I should know by now I suppose..that what has happened in the past, it will happen in the present and even in the future, if you do nothing to prevent it. That's why mistakes happen over and over again and why many people end up being in past disfunctional relationships.

Everyone tells you to be outgoing and an optimist while a realist too. I should know, becuse I was one of those people. I might still be, but that's not the point. The point is that sometimes, when you face your past again, you get the feeling that something has changed. Something is different than before. You begin to feel captivated by the idea that you might have the opportunity to correct your past mistakes and give that certain someone a shot. Your logic keeps telling you not to go back, but your heart and the rest of your being yearns to give them a chance. After many musings and lot of complications, you finally do so. But it ends up being disappointing. You find out that they have changed. And not in a good way in most cases. Perhaps the new "you" and the new " theirs" is not compatible anymore. But I couldn't help but wonder; what if they haven't changed at all? What if while you talk to them it occurs you that they are still the same but fake something else to the others just to seem cool or become acceptible? Then what?

What if you had something true together? Something real that was ended rather unorthodoxiacally? What if the timing wasnt that right back then? What should you do then? You could go and set the record straingt or even tell them how you really feel after all. Some wouldn't advise you to do it, some would. But after all these What if 's, I finally have something figured out; That you don't have to base your actions on the should'a-would'a-could'a of others.

Trust your own insticts. Sometimes you will be wrong, sometimes right. It will not matter after a while 'cause it will all get better in time. The only thing that will matter will be the knowledge of the experience that will have definately made your insticts flawless and drama-proof for the next time.

Musical Memories

In every movie, when something shocking or romantic is going to happen, a tune is a about to start and with its' notes, it allows the viewers to experience the film with more that just their eye-sight. It gives them the opportunity to imagine and sense how the person is feeling in the film. Despair, agony, impatience, joy, love and so much more can be brought up to the surface of one's character once the music begins. In some cases a piece of music can make an individual feel all these sentiments simultaneously. That's how I personally feel once I hear " Better In Time" by Leona Lewis.

This particular song is one of my all-time favorites. its' lyrics are so powerful and dynamic that sometimes I feel that I am flying and I am on a cloub of infinate possibilities. Its' melodic and peacefull combination of music and lyrics is simply perfect. The piano notes and the soothing vocals are just what anyone would need after a disappointing experience. I first heard the song while I was going home one day. This tune must have been downloaded accidentally with some others and then got into my ipod while sychronizing it with my computer. That day I had a rather bad experience that was quite devastating for me. When I heard the song, I thought it was pure fate. Its' lyrics were exactly what I needed to hear; " It is going to hurt when it heals too, but it will all get better in time". Without even knowing it, I had arrived home and I was already confident that all would be alright.

That day will never be forgotten. It was the day when I learnt that whatever happens, we should do what is best for ourselves. Everything bad will fade away eventually, leaving behind a lot of knowledge from the past mistakes. Everything will get better in time and each moment we should smile because we deserve too.

That Friday night is important to me because I had finally realised one of the meaings of life; the one of moving forward.

My talent

This post is different from the other ones. I will write once about myself. I shuffle through these blogs and all I can see is people describing their days but nothing of a great value or help for the others. Why do others should care how was your trip to Maui or how big is the fish you caught with your second cousin and his sister in law? That's absurb.

I had a blog since I was in juniour high school. I used to write two entries, three max, and then simply delete them and acted like they never existed and opened a brand new blog. I don't know why I did that back then. But you see, after a long time I finally realised. You know, I have this talent, this distrurbing and unpleasant talent; pushing & hiding everything away.

Exhibit 1:
I deleted these entries. I hid what it took my so much time to write. I had no reason. I just did it. I cannot stop wondering what had got into my mind back then. Why did I keep starting over again from scratch and why I kept writting on a blog, even though I insistenly kept deleting after all?

Exhibit 2:
Friends. This one little word. I have now understood its real meaning. It took me almost sixteen years but I got it after all. Some people don't even care to bother.
I have kept so many people at a distance and all that because I don't want to trust. I don't want to be tricked. I just don't.

Exhibit 3:
love.

I could go on and on with these 'Exhibits' but that just pointless for me and tiring for you. And even if I know what is wrong with me I cannot make it better. At least I admit it. Take me for what I am. I play with all my cards open but still beat you in this game called life. You choose whatever you want, I choose values and my brains. I show exactly what I am and what my intentions are. Why don't you try it for once? What's your excuse?

Love; not so ever-lasting as they believe

After a Sex and The City series marathon i finally realised; all that there is out there, is friendship. The only ever-lasting feeling. If you all reflect for a moment and think about the past and experiences you know that other people have, love comes and goes.
So I cannot help but wonder: why we all carve so much a feeling that eventually will fade away ? Why we kill ourselves trying to achieve something that it will go away after a certain time ? We live in this world of everything being fast paced, faceless and only reaching acqaintances, so why we keep trying ? Can't we just settle for what is given ? And even if love gives us the opportunity to feel full of energy and offers us a cloud of infinate possibilities for a certain time, why do we do that to ourselves? Why tortur ourselves with a sneak peak of heaven, if we will never have the opportunity to join ?

Expression

There comes a time when a person needs to burst out, to let all these suppresing feelings go. Expression comes in different spaces, sizes and you even could say moments.
Each and every one has his/her own way of expressing themselves. But sadly, the vast majority of them doesn't really know how to do it properly.
Today's modern life is chaotic enough, so as to make people cherish some peace and quiet, especially when it comes to their mentallity. The relief that comes after letting go any grudges, is the so called expression. Most people express themselves with the wrong ways; for example, they steal, cheat, fight and so much more. But these violent actions aren't the correct ways of expressing yourself. Now you are going to say, there is no wrong or right when it comes to expression because it is something personal, but actually there is. When you let out your emotions at someone else's expence, is not expression; it is crime. Dont become a criminal just because inside you there is despair or anger. Become a writer.

Writing can express sentiments, thoughts, dreams.. It can enhance communication, or even help you to reach a conclusion or find a solution to a problem. It can help you organise your thoughts and allow you to escape the chaos that has been created. Writing is the safest way to express yourself. You cannot hurt anyone literally. And sometimes metaforically. Because, before we write something, we think of it first. And also, by writing what we want down, we give ourselves the chance of getting everything out of our system without worrying about trust and loyalty from the person you would tell if writting was not the case.

I guess that all I am trying to say is that writing is a brilliant way of expressing one's self. There are no trust issues, no games, no set-ups. It is just you and a piece of paper (or blog in this case).
Cant find a way of expressing what keeps haunting you down? Just write about it and I'm 100% sure that it will be of vital help.

Twisted people.

Every single day proves that the new generations are becoming more and more self-distractive. You can really understand this predicament, just be being in school; the place were a teenager's character is built up.

Today's youth, and especially the girls, have discredit the bounds of kindness and loyalty, especially when it comes to friendships. Every one is a social climber and craves for some popularity and adoration. Almost every feeling that can be out there; friendship, love, kidness, secrecy, are overtaken by ostensible ones. These people are so impudent that have ousted these little things that make us feel happy about ourselves and for the others also. They spread countless shallow rumors about anyone, so that they can come closer with their new beyond suspicion pray. It's a nefarious circle that you cannot get your way out of. Their ploys are not witty, but pathetic. They are the ones that miss out on life because they try to live theirs through someone else's. Don't become one of them.

Make a choice. CHOOSE LIFE. Choose real values and not the ones that you were ushered to believe in. Hold back at this sinister menace. They dont deserve any of your time, maybe just a bit of lamentation.

Story of Ghosts

A while back, about 3 months or so, I discovered the new album that Nine Inch Nails released. Those mystic and arousing melodies are ideal to lay back and relax while reflecting your next move.

Nine Inch Nails presents Ghosts I - IV, a brand new 36 track instrumental collection. Ghosts I - IV sprawls Nine Inch Nails across a variety of new terrain. "This collection of music is the result of working from a very visual perspective - dressing imagined locations and scenarios with sound and texture; a soundtrack for daydreams" said Trent Reznor.

As you listen to those songs, you can identify with most of the sounds; Some of them remind the wind, some others the water or even the sun. Mr. Renzor is right; this instrumental collection is ideal for daydreaming.

Enjoy.

Now I learn how to Kung Fu.

Hey all you bloggers out there. I know I haven't been around much but not only my inner reflections and queries need me, but reality too.

As it turns out, I came to the conclusion that I may take a lot of time to make a decision, but in the end, it is always for the best. I have now learnt to trust my insticts and follow my dreams and my path. Dont ever give up. Not even in the hardest obstacles. Take Kung Fu Panda for example. No matter the difficulties, he believed in himself. Even the master was trying to make him quit. He might wanted to, but deep inside him he knew. He knew he was destined to do great things. He trusted his insticts.

So stick to your plan and instincts and wants. No one knows what's best for you, except YOU. Stop looking in other peoples thoughts to find the solution or the right choice. There isnt any. Every choice defines each person for what he/ she is. To expect a solution from another individual is way wrong. Cause in hard times, someone's character shows its true colors. What if the colors that the decision outshines arent yours ?

Bad Judgement ?

I think that I might have regretted some choices I have made back in the past.
I don't know if I want to fix this. I don't like playing with other people's feelings. They don't deserve it. HE doesn't deserve it.

So can give me the exact meaning of "love"? or of " falling in love" ? 'Cause I can't seem to understand any of it. Am I not welcoming love in my life? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

Everything seems to have a manual; machines, services. Why not love too? I think it would give a clue to the naive and a certainty to the hard-working brave ones.

Dwelling on Memory Lane

It's Sunday night and I can't stop thinking about the past.

I keep wondering if i have made the right choices and decisions. The thing is that are these feelings coming up the surface cause they are real or it's just a nostalgic mood that casts it's spells on anyone every now and then (?)

As time goes by, I have realised that I dont deal with any of my inner problems. I just hide them well very deep in the closet named ' soul and heart ' and I keep going on no matter what. Is it because every connection I have made with anyone isn't as deep as I think or am I so terrified to actually feel love and pain (?)

People may find new techniques for making cars and computers, new information about space, but they will never understand the sanctuaries of the heart; the abyss of the soul.

First Day

Today was the first actual day at school.
Schools have OFFICIALLY began!
For many this is a discouragement, for others not a big deal but for some a fresh start. A fresh start for better habits, behaviours and judgements. I consider myself part of this category of students.
This year is my last year of some relaxation and lazyness. Next year we are busting our asses
about getting into university. But I'm not planning to act lazy or anything like that. I will have a consistency in my studying so as to achive my goals with no worries later on.

To a certain extent, I can admit that I have missed all the fun that we had in the classroom. The laughs, the pranks...Even though all students here in Greece complain about the education system, they can tell you for sure that the most vivid memories they have are from school. With those green wooden desks, the green dusty blackboard, the broken lights and the trumbling chairs. All are parts of those exciting memories and experiences.

I wish to all of you that this year is even more fun than the last one, or the launch pad of a new adventure and friendships.
Lets make the most of it, shall we?

Creation.

The birth of nature.

Human Relationships.

I haven't been around and I thought that something was missing.

My way of expresion. Well, I have actually procrastinated this update because I wanted to see how things were going for me. These past few days were the launch pad of a new era. A lot of things changed in my life; looks, friends, places, situations. And even I have.

I firmly believe that I have started to observe things around me a lot more and with a new perspective that definately helps me. This 10 days were productive as hell! haha

I met a boy for whom I really don't know how I feel. But the thing I do know is that he is an amazing person. It is really extraordinairy how great he is and real. This summer I met people that were worth of attention.

To get to the chase, I have learnt a lot about human relationships. How complicated they can be. But I haven't yet figured the reason why. Why relationships with other people must be so hard to establish in the first place ? THEY utter that freindship and love are the world's best feelings, but why it is so difficult to get simply familiar with someone? Everybody says that they want to experience them, but no one seems to take a risk or even care to make the deed in the first place. Some might be afraid of the unknown, of the overwhelming feelings that these sentiments may cause, but why?

Is our society so depressing and practically insipid that only talks in theory about these things?

I dont think that we need more filosophers. These feelings are pretty simple.

So stop bitching about it and ride the coller-coaster. Even if there are some few bumbs or falls, it is always worth it to get back on and try again.

Multiple sides.

It's funny how you think you know someone, but in the end you clearly don't. At that point, you learn that people have more than the one side they have been showing to you this whole time you've known each other. You've finally stop being oblivious of his/ her multiple sides of character.

You need a shoking event or a big change to see better their true colors. When you first meet someone, it is imminent that they treat you right and make kind gestures. But along the way, you get familiar with everything else, especially the things that were hidden at the beggining.

People can be mean, cruel and self-centered in a flash. If something happens that they don't like at all, the looming hate and revenge can destroy everything you have worked for.

So be aware of reactions. If you really stick to your desicion and believe that you truly know yourself, then you have nothing to be afraid of.

A trip down to life

Tomorrow I'm heading to Kefalonia, a beautiful island situated in Ionian sea, Greece.

Actually, my grandfather was born and grew up there, so that place has a sentimental value to me. But tomorrow I am not going to visit, but to pay my dues to the memory of my grandfather.

Sadly, he passed away almost a year ago, and I am going to honour him at his grave.But I wont be sad. He lived his live and he had a great time.I'm glad im going back there, at least for a few days.

Take care. I hope you have an amazing time because responsibilities are just around the corner.

And the curtains fall

I'm back from camp.
It was a magnificent experience, and without a doubt, life-changing. As a trainee, not only I discovered a lot of things that concern responsibility, team spirit and maturity, but also great people. So many amazing guys entered my life and made my 20-day program even more fun. Every day was beautiful and interesting. Nothing changed, not even at the farewell. Even then, we continued to sing, shout and jump. It was a blast. I hope that this new school year that is just around the corner, will be drama free, very creative and successfull.

Something I forgot to mention.

I met some people. Some people who are real, self-less and caring. Some people who were there for me all long. Thanks guys. You really matter to me.

Great individuals. Great memories. Great hopes for even better times.

Summer memories

Dionysos, TYPET <3

The last month of summer is just around the corner and I am determined to make the best of it. Every year I look forward to these certain 20 days in Dionisos Camp, TYPET. Whoever of you has never been to a camp, he is missing so much fun!

Every year I'm having a blast and I'm enjoying myself and the company of my friends. This certain camp is an addiction. Either you are 3, or 13 or even 23 you still want to go, no matter if you are a camper or an assistant or something else.

Tomorrow I am leaving for TYPET and I'm feeling jubilant about it. I know in advance that I am going to have a great summer.
I wish that to you too. Enjoy your holidays people.
Cheers.

Goodbyes.

Is there any particular way to say goodbye to someone?
Is there a wink, a word or a gesture that means goodbye ?
Why people aren't goood with goobyes?

I guess people don't like others leaving their lives even for a short period of time. They probably think that if they don't follow the formalities, they will not miss the other person so much as they would, if they had said goodbye in a more serious way. If this is the case, then I am definately on the other side. Saying goodbye, is actually saying: " Goodbye. Take care. I will miss you." or something like that. It is nerve-wraking when people just kiss or hug you and then walk away. This way is faceless and lame. The person that leaves will be missed equally whether or not there are any formal goodbyes, and he or she will miss a lot the people that they leave behind. I just can't understand at all why people keep saying their goodbyes in such way.

Is it because goodbyes are really forever ?

A Taste From The Past

Summer 2007. Two intense and worth-remebering weeks.

When you have finally moved on and you have built a great life with the people you think matter to you the most, something from the past comes and knocks down almost everthing. One thing I know, is what's done it's done, and the past should remain at it's place.

A few words from someone that had quite an impact in your life can affect you very much, trust me. Even if they are from the past, the first kiss or the first real thing you have ever had, will always remain alive by both. It doesn't matter if you want to continue and move on, 'cause the first person you felt intense about will always come in & out of your life. And it is hopeless to try and stop it, because when you talk to them it is like you are powerless and apathetic about what happens around you.

But these people left your life then for a reason, even unknown, something happened and all the things you had fall apart, this doesnt mean that you must throw your life away. Even if they are the people who you will be a bit bonded to for almost all your life, it doesn't mean that they are your life.

From last night, I finally got the behaviour I deserved from "my" certain someone and I was deeply dimused. But when I woke up today, I came to the above conclusions. I love the life I have now. And I definately dont want to throw it away. The people who are in it are the people that I want to have in my life as long as I can. And however confusing this taste from the past might be, I will continue moving onwards, not backwards. I want to continue exploring my future with the people I have in my life now, rather than go back. Because now, I have found love. The most important feeling for me.


Ida Scott Taylor once wrote:
Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.

Sifting Through These Ashes

From some 21st century poets...

there is much to be gained from the disregarded ways of the past,

how futile we have been in our new ideologies,

fighting against what we have become,

burying us a under a cloak of religion,

collapsing fragments of life have fallen down around us,

on our knees we try to piece things back together,

parts like sifting sand slip through our fingertips,

within these ashes lies beauty forgotten,

search us to find what has been lost within,

reveal what we do not see in and of ourselves.

_____________________________________

let's not let the sun go down.
to me, tonight is like a farewell from a silent yet beautiful dream.
why do I have to run away?
i want to stay with You.
i don't seem to want to understand.
it is so cold inside this shelter that I call home.
laying naked in the winds of reform.
dragging my feet and covering my ears.
i want to escape, to break out of this norm.
i am crying for more.

Destiny

When you meet someone that will accompany you the rest of your life, can you sense it? Can you feel a sparkle when you first lay eyes on them? Is it possible to stay with a person for a very long time while battling the deterioration that time and intimacy cause?

Every person faces these questions at some point in their lives. In some cases, it is after years of experiences and life adjustments but in some others, just about when the individuals start to have a perspective of the world and get to know themselves. But who can question the right time to meet someone who will stay by your side and escort you through life?

It doesn't matter if you are 16 or 46. Maturity and experiences don't come as the school classes; everything in a row. It doesn't matter if the others think you are too young to experience some things they experienced when they were older than you. It doesn't matter if you meet these certain someones very young or too old. The key is to be able to recognise who these people are. Trust this hinch that only few people can create with their handshake or hug. It doens't matter at what age or point in your life you met them.

All that matters is acknowledging that fact that they have a certain value to you and not get intimidated by your feelings for them. Just make the magic they offer to your life, everlasting.

Two Day Romance

Can you help me?

Take a picture before I paint over her.

She is beautiful, she was everything. I miss her.

Last night I dreamt of her tracing my scars.

She said she'd never leave and that I'd always stay.

That night you called I stood by that phone for hours,

I felt everything thirty miles away.

You said you loved me and I told you the same.

We kissed there for the first time. I believed in you for the last time.

I once was I, once was whole.

Peacemaker, tell myself that this is time to say goodbye.

Goodbye.

There is something about them

First day after coming back and I am already falling behind. I definately need some sleep and relaxation, so that I can shop till I drop next week. ;)

Three girls and some more people made my time in England magnificent. Every single minute we were laughing. We met people and places and started to oberve the world with a whole new persepective. This trip wasn't about meeting new things, but bonding with the old ones. I got to know these girls better than ever, which made my time even more great that it could be. Thanks girls for been there. Jokes, late night talks, advices, hair straightners, marsh-mellows. One amazing week. One amazing trip. But thousands amazing memories.

mary-christine, aleksandra, christianna

Arrivals.

I am BACK! haha I have officially returned from London and I can admit that I'm really happy. I had a very nice time with my friends. There were a lot drawbacks, but nothing prevented us from experiencing some good times and make long-lasting memories.

London is such a charming city and I was taken aback. However, I can not say that I'm sad I came back home. I have my friends here and my beloved ones which I have dramatically missed. My summer started pretty great, intense and vivid. I wish you the same guys.
Cheers.

With will

When you first meet someone and you like them, you feel excited and wonderful about it. New emotions rush through your body and mind and you experience wonderful sensations. These are the first things you feel when you start to appreciate someone and begin to fall for them. As the time goes by, there are two senarios. One is that you don't feel so attached to that person anymore and the excitement is over, or you can't wait to meet them again and look into their eyes and see happiness.

If it is the first, then don't call it love. It is just a crush. Maybe something more, but not love. A crush is something that begins suddenly and intesively but fades quickly along the way. Love is something that grows day by day and becomes stronger and deeper. You love someone when you have experienced some stuff together, rough or good times; it doesn't matter but as long as you go through it together. It can be a friend or a lover. But remember one thing; time not only helps people to bond better but it also has great impacts on their relationships.

Sometimes people get into a rut. And just get used to be with the other person. It happens to everyone. But then, the relationship is in their hands. Only should they want it, it will continue to become stronger and get out from the rut it is in.

The bottom line is that after a period of time, it is in the peoples hands if they want to do something about the deterioration that time causes. If it is love, it will overcome this obstacle and continue. If it is a crush, then it's colors will fade away along with the emotions and feelings.

It doesn't depend on people and circumstances, but weather or not there is will. With will, everything can change, for better or worse.

Intricated overtues and happy endings.

As it turns out, all this axiety was pointless. I passed my exams and I'm jubilant about it. Now, the thing that I'm looking forward the most, is of course my trip to England next week.

I will be away for about one week, so there aren't gonna be any updates until then I suppose. Thanks to the secretary responsible at IFA ( Institute Français d' Athens ) that made my day and cheered me up. Now I will enjoy the rest of the summer properly.

One thing I learned from these past 4 days, was that failure must be handled with patience and courage. Atter all, we cannot be perfect.

Have a wonderfull week.

Good company

Good company can cure almost everything.
After finding out about my first academic failure, I definately wasn't in the mood of going out. But I gave it a shot.

At the end, I realised that even a failure or a fiasco, can't prevent you from having a nice time if you have a good company.
Also, this time I stepped down from the place of the supporter that I have always been. And let other people in charge. This made me feel even better.

Thanks to all. Thanks for being there.
Cheers.

Failure

Failure sucks.
So do your fucking best.
And try with all you heart.
So they don't have the right to say you didn't try enough.

I have a lot of theories of how to overcome failure, but all right now seem useless and pointless.

First, the very own you, then comes love.

What is love? I mean, is it a feeling? A state of emotion? A behaviour towards a specific person? Is it an itchy burn that you sense when you are near them? Is it a substance that you brain products? Might be all these, might be nothing from the above.

Love is the strongest feeling an individual can feel. Then, it is joy and happiness which are given, when there is love. But, can you be happy without it? No one can really know. So i guess the answer is no. You cannot be happy without love. Love is the mother of all other emotions and feelings. So we do have love every day in our lives from friends and family, because we have joy and happiness and fun.

But, when do you know if you love someone? I personaly think it is complicated because it differs from person to person. Everyone respods to the circumstances based on their own views and character. Someone can say that they love someone else, because they bring them excitement. Some others can say that they love certain individuals because they can feel safe around them. This list could go on and on, which is pointless.

If you know yourself, and you know what you can do, then you definately know if you love someone or not. It takes time to get to know the very own you, but when you get the chance, the feeling is amazing. You feel impervious and ready to face every obstacle. Ready to play the game. Ready to love & be loved.

Inspiration

It is 23:32, Saturday night.
After staying in today, I finally realised that people and situations are my inspiration. I feel like my brain is drained from ideas and thoughts. Some people need just to see a flim to get inspired. Others need to listen to some music. I do these things too. But I need to get in touch with something that is alive. Something interactive. Something that it's ending is unknown, and my share is to examine all possible endings, whilst I gain experience. I'm tired of people not thinking about the consequences and just do whatever it feels like doing. From one hand, it is great to be spontanious and just express yourself, but on the other hand, it is immature. So, learn from the mistakes you make. That's what experience is all about.

An extrovert.

It is a word that makes me think of the exact opposite of its meaning. Even when I try to consider it correclty, I find it very difficult.

Every person finds his own ways to express their emotions and what they feel. And almost everyone has found the way to do it and which methods should they follow in order to succed in it. But I guess I'm included in the small minority percentage of failure to succed in this part. At this period of my life, it is very crusial to let the people who are close to me, to know how I feel. And I have the need to. And I want to show them, but something gets in the way.

I have been trying a lot to figure ways of expressing myself, but I've learned one thing; The person you want to talk to, can't understand a lot of things except the real deal. Sometimes, when you are beating around the bush about something, they cannot understand that it is only because you find difficulties in expressing yourself, no matter how many times you have told them that you can't. They think that what you are about to say is bad for them and they are getting prepared for the worse, so they can't help you.

The bottom line is that, no one can help you. Some people say that when the right person and the right feelings are together at the same time, you can express yourself correctly and right to the point. But this is not the case.
When I was at the verge of losing an important individual from my life, I panicked! Even after taking a while, I finally managed to say what I feel. It was very difficult. Cold sweat was all over me. I was afraid that i might say something with the wrong words and mess it up. I kept making these stupid senarios in my head.

But last night, I came to a conclusion; You shouldn't get obsesed about what's going to happen next if you say how you feel. If the other person really cares for you, he or she will try equally as much as you do, to solve the issue. Don't be scared to risk. Because you can lose a lot great stuff; and I have lost many. But this time I denied to let this happen again. I risked, took a chance and expressed how I feel and even though it was quite hard to do, i did it. It is all about taking decisions..

Some people.

Today should be about chance, and beginings or even continuation.
But it was for so much more.

I've learned now that people don't always take you for granted. Some of them want to feel your love often, because they really want to feel. They really want to experience. In this society of everything being fake, some people want insurance, that the other person does indeed care for them. Some people simply want real feelings and real situations. Some people want to experience love and friendship in a true and pure way, like how it should be done. And not how it is being done. So, show your love to these people. Because some people are truly there for you. Some people make the difference and want to matter in this world. Some people are almost ready to give you their all.

But after all, it's only some people...

Enjoy.

Ida Scott Taylor once wrote: Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.

Enjoy every smile, every hug, every walk, every thought, every feeling, every expirience, every love, every heartbreak, every-THING.
Make your life, yours! Live it the way you want and simply taste the fruit it gives you. Happiness, and fuzziness and warm feelings. It is short. Enjoy :)

Life paths & changes

There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.

Things in life don't come easy and ready for you. Never. You have to fight for what you want and defend your honour and prerogatives. The everyday life is a new battle and a game for each one of us that has to play. But before any game, the players decide their moves and what actions should they make. So should we. Every morning, we have to make small or big decisions for our lives that may affect directly or not our future. With decisions, definately comes change too. No one should be afraid of change as long as the decision he or she have taken, are theirs. It is every man for himself. Everyone of course can give you their opinion, and what they would do if they were in your shoes, but they are not you! We manage our lives the way we want and we change them until they make us feel great about ourselves.

An unfortunate event should not affect us. Even if it is a break up, or something personal, we should set aside the differences and problems, and continue living our lives while trying to solve them. Bad luck in professional affairs or reletionships, is indeed something that could ruin your mood and affect your strength. But for no reason, should you be miserable about it. You single the problem out, and try to solve it without letting it bugging you until it is gone. Life is way too short for us to consider it difficult and complex. So why agonise about things that can happen anytime and to anyone? These issues and problems should be embraced and not hated. Because after all, unfortunate events and mistakes, give us experiences and makes us more mature, so why hate them? There is one thing I've heard; that in the end, everything happens for a reason...

Important tunes

Some songs that got me out from some serious rough times and accompanied me at great too.

• Here without you - 3 Doors Down
• One Last Goodbye - Anathema
• Save Yourself - Sensefield
• Kiss Me - New Foun Glory
• Ember Drive - Walls Of Jericho
• In The Sun - Joseph Arthur
• Makeup Smeared Eyes - Juliet Simms
• You Had Me At Hello - A Day to Remember
• I Never Dreamed - Black Label Society
• Sex Raptor - Horse The Band
• Pouring Reign - AS Blood Runs Black
• Here In Your Arms - Hellogoodbye
• It's Been A While - Staind
• I Miss You - Blink 182
• Just Hold Me - Maria Mena
• The City Below - 36 Crazyfists

A kiss is a moment

As happens sometimes a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone.

Thats what a kiss is. It is an intense feeling that lasts about a moment. So enjoy it as it lasts. Wait passionately for the next kiss, but remember heartedly the last one. 'Cause the feelings and sensations that it wakes in you, are priceless and only felt with something real and true. So search for true passion, because even one little kiss is worth waiting.

seth & summer

The darkness doesn't have any answers

When life comes rushing at you from out of the darkness, who will you choose to face it with? Will it be someone you trust? Will they be wise? And will their love for you help them to guide you to the light? Or will they lose their way in the darkness. Will they make noble choices or will that person be someone untested? Someone new? Life comes rushing at you from out of the darkness. When it does - is there someone in your life you can count on? Someone who'll watch over you when you stumble and fall and in that moment give you the strenght to face your fears alone.

That's when you finally realise the value of the people that are in your life. After the mistakes, the pain and the betray, comes the knowledge of the expiriences. The individuals who help you to get through these difficult times of despair, are the ones that truly care for you. They don't leave you agonising with the complicated affairs alone, but comfort you in the greatest way possible.

However, no matter how close they are, they cannot solve your issues and problems. Only you. Because it is your life. your choices, and after all, your mess. They can only give you courage, and strengh, so you can go on and come up with the solutions by yourself. Let yourself decide for your life. No one can manage the way you live and how things work. Things in your life work with your pace and rythm. So make your decisions alone, 'cause even immature, they will be your own. You cant hold on to someone besides yourself. There is a great chance that they handle the situation somehow else, which will not represent you. Make your decisions. Choose the things you want. Choose your life. Don't stay in darkeness, 'cause it doesn't have any answers. only inside your heart and mind.